Ruth Grupper Obituary
Ruth Grupper led a classic, first-generation Jewish-American life of the last century. She was born January 22, 1929 to Louis Topal, a shopkeeper and house painter from Poland, and Gertrude who, with her family, fled social and political unrest in Lithuania. She grew up in The Bronx neighborhood of Tremont with her younger brother Irving, speaking Yiddish as her primary language. She graduated from City College with a degree in education - the first in her family to go to college.
In 1950, Ruth got an internship at the neighborhood Y and, in a stroke of fate (or perhaps careful planning on his part), shared a subway ride with one of the handsome Social Workers working there, Edward Grupper, who couldn’t help but notice her striking beauty and larger-than-life personality. She accepted his invitation to a Valentine’s Day dance, and they got married December 17th of that same year. Ed’s lifelong love for Ruth was borne of her devotion to helping him recognize he had the strength to succeed despite a nearly crippling sleeping disorder he acquired in his youth. That passion for guiding people to their better selves led Ruth to teach first grade, and Hebrew school at the New City Jewish Center synagogue that she and Ed helped found in New City, NY, where they settled.
Ruth dreamed big. She went on to get a master’s degree in education at Teachers College at Columbia – a pursuit she undertook with determination while raising three sons with Ed. At a time when most women were homemakers, Ruth launched a career. She worked as a guidance counselor for over 20 years in the Englewood, NJ School system. But she derived her greatest professional rewards from her private practice, as a Learning Disability Specialist helping children and young adults. Her students came to her with seemingly insurmountable challenges, and she convinced them that they were actually smart and capable. Many excelled and, having achieved academic and career success, are forever indebted to her.
Ruth lived life to the fullest. After Ed died in 1987, she traveled on her own to China, Peru, Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands, Russia, Australia, Thailand and elsewhere. She kept an annual subscription to the Metropolitan Opera. She regularly attended concerts, theater and dance performances, museums, and art exhibits, and was an avid reader.
Ruth was proactive. Well before her advancing years might have compelled her to, she had the foresight to sell her home of over fifty years in New City and move into an independent living facility so she could create a new life, rich with new friends and community. She was fiercely independent, determined to never be a burden on her loving family, even as she was forced to surrender to aging.
To the end, Ruth had an insatiable appetite for joy and making friends, an infectious laugh, and spirit to spare. She died of COVID-19 on November 20, 2021. The families she left behind miss her dearly: Brother Irving (Pat); Sons David, Jonathan (Cathlin) and Adam (Maxine); grandchildren Naava (David), Eddie, Madeline, Jesse, Harry and Phoebe; and great-grandson Nadav.
